Friday, January 22, 2010

The Security Goose or My workweek

I swear, sometimes I wonder what it is about me that has me working for odd people :D My current (temp) boss is a guy I worked for a couple of years ago for 2 months as a temp. He's a jerk. I'm not sure what his personality has been in the past, but he had a stroke in 2000 so I know he gets frustrated with memory loss. As someone who's 'been there, done that', I understand.. And he is in the early stages of Alzheimer's. As long as he is on his meds, he does pretty well. He is also delusional if he thinks that he is going to benefit in any way from Obama and the stimulus. So far he's written a couple of letters, asking him to loosen up the strings on the credit so he can build some houses. Pretty nice community in Greeley, CO, but bad timing. No one is building spec houses, he's got a LOT of debt (roughly half a mil per year in interest payments. Anyway, he need to retire. So far he's not yelled at me, but when he does, I'll walk out. He honestly should sell out and retire, travel and/or fish until he no longer can, then settle home. But I am also sure he is lonely....he tends to alienate people.

Monday was supposedly a holiday. However, I am working temp so I wouldn't get paid. I emailed my boss and reminded him it was a holiday on Monday, but I was going to come in anyway for the phones. Turns out a good thing I did as he forgot it was a holiday and didn't know where everyone was. He was pleased and very nice about it. Brought me a new coffee mug on Tuesday ;D.

Wednesday he pulls into the lot (I try to let everyone know when he is there...only 5 people there anyway, and only 2-3 of us there all the time. Nate groans and looks out the window.

Nate: "He's got a dead goose." 
Me: Really?
Nate: Yeah.
Me: Okay.

Mike walks in the door with a dead goose by the neck, right behind the head. It hangs down beside him. I started laughing.  He asks me if I want it.  Nope, no idea what to do with it. It's still got it's feet and feathers. He walks into Jody's office, putting it down in the doorway.  Talks a few minutes, picks up his goose and goes down the hallway, shedding goose down and feathers. He stops in Nate's office a minute, but there is no chair in there really so he doesn't stay. Comes out and goes on down the hallway to the CFO's office. I glance down the hallway, and he dropped the goose in the doorway & goes to sit in John's office. From the distance, almost looks like a small dog in the doorway. I am still giggling and laughing. I go find the vacuum cleaner and get all the down and feathers up off the floor. I go to the kitchen, grab a trash bag & follow Mike down the hallway.  I opened the bag and told him to put it in there so I don't have to vacuum up more feathers. (Fortunately, there are no fluids dripping from it or I would have raised Cain).

He fools around the office a while, then grabs his trash bag with the goose in it and goes off to his massage therapist. Apparently she doesn't want it either and he eventually ends up giving it to one of the architects that he visits before he goes onto the development in Greeley.

Wednesday afternoon he comes back in, sans goose, and tells me to call the architects (gives me names) and has me invite them to get with a guide and come out to the property goose hunting on Friday. I do so and they arrange to come out and hunt on Friday. We have 42 acres, some wetlands that he wants to develop for a shopping center or something. I get to work this morning & they are out there, setting up the blind, etc. Hear a few shots during the course of the day, then a bunch. I get a phone call at around 11 AM .

Troy: We're getting hungry out here and don't have a phone book.
Me: Okay.
T: Can you call up and order us some pizza and we'll meet the driver and pay for it?
Me: Sure. What do you want?
T: Large pepperoni and large sausage.
Me: Drinks?
T: Yeah, two diet and two regular.
Me: Coke? 'Cause it's all coke to me.
Troy: Yeah, coke's good.
Me: Who do you want?
Troy: Dominos is okay.

The entire conversation, I can hear goose calls in the background.

30 min later or so, the pizza is delivered. One of the guys meets the driver and pays her.  They all gather at the trucks. I go into the kitchen and grab a roll of paper towels & a trash bag and take it out to them. And to grab a piece of pizza. Yes, I was sharing pizza from the same box as 5 men who had been rolling on the ground and shooting geese 30 min before and had NOT WASHED THEIR HANDS.

Afternoon rolls on and they finish up. Mike wants to meet with them the next week to discuss the site and possibly condos at the other development. So I go out to see which day is good for them, and they are working on the geese. One of the guys is plucking one of them...more like running his fingers thru the feathers and they are everywhere in the back of his truck. So just watch a bit, comment some...they discuss what to do...and I watch them tear open the skin and poke around to where they want to cut. Back inside to get the key to the dumpster lock for them...back outside and one has pulled a leg and thigh off (I think) and is brandishing it around. I unlock the dumpster and ask them to lock it back up when they are done. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking...okay, what do I put them in and how do I clean goose feathers? There's probably enough off those three and others for a small pillow.

Back inside. Sheesh. Having 2 sons prepared me well for this job. I leave at 5 and there are goose feathers EVERYWHERE in the lot...sigh. I put up with all this in 3 days...and he's complaining because he's paying the agency too much!

Why do I end up with the weird jobs? Another day I'll tell you about the weirdest job interview ever.

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