Okay, looks like the last post came out a bit whiney....sorry. Wasn't meant to be...I get seriously annoyed when my BILs don't treat their mom well...and there is absolutely NO excuse for a DIL to do that. Hey, she raised the man you love...and boys, don't you find it amazing that someone as stupid as she managed to raise someone as smart as you? I'd suggest that you think about it, but I'm not sure your peabrain is capable of it. (okay, getting steamed now). And being that we were all born and raised in Texas, there is even less excuse because we were taught to respect our elders.
They all make their choices as we make ours. I broke new ground when we got married. Cabinet Man married a Texas native, Southern Baptist, and I dropped out of college after 2 years. I was probably her worst nightmare. I guess that I finally grew on her, but I learned a lot too. I learned a lot from my mom's relationship with her MIL (not good...my paternal GM could be a real witch). My older sister's (lack of a) relationship with her MIL(s) and the stories about relatives and their various inl-aws. And in all this, I realized I had a choice to make...I could figure out a way to get along, or I could (try to) force Cabinet Man to choose between us...a lose/lose situation all the way around. And a stupid one. I like to think I am not completely stupid. ;D (I could be fooling myself) Making an enemy of her would be a mistake. It would do no favors to CM, to me or to our future children. I chose to learn to get along. And MIL is an amazing woman. She's been through a lot (grew up dirt poor in Appalachia), outhouse til she was in HS, graduated at 16 and left home. Traveled in the US and Europe, put herself through school and supported herself. Did not marry until she was almost 30...didn't plan to until she met my FIL, who obviously had other plans ;D But she's had her own demons to battle. I don't think my youngest SIL has any idea what kind of a person our MIL is. And she will be a lesser person for that lack and their sons will miss a lot. She's got some great stories to tell. Both sides of the family come from a long line of yarn spinners and tale tellers...the chances that MIL will be around until the boys are at least in HS are pretty good. And they are going to miss an awful lot.
I guess I see a contempt there that I do not like. And an arrogance It is not attractive, it minimizes the person feeling/exhibiting it...and there is no excuse for it.
I guess as I get older, I see societal shifts easier than I did when younger and I don't like it. I see it as a struggle for our civilization, and we make sure that we have equipped our children to be warriors for it. How they will do that is up to them, but one is doing it as a mental health specialist, another will probably do it as a teacher, another as a biologist..and who knows about the youngest. But they will be among the ones shining that light of good manners, courtesy and respect...for themselves and other people. Isn't that in a way what the Golden Rule is about...treat others as you want to be treated. Show them the respect and love that you want to be shown. Now, how hard is that?
Enough profundity...I'm going to watch Indian Jones and the Crystal Skull with Cabinet Man and Sunshine.